It is official. I have logged over one week nannying for two three-month-old girls – and they just so happen to be my adorable nieces (see picture). In this time I have already learned many important lessons, seven of which I thought might be valuable to you:
- A sleeping baby in hand does not necessarily equal a sleeping baby in swing. The transition from hand to swing does not always go as smoothly as one would hope – generally, the amount of things one has to accomplish and the probability of the baby in hand waking up as one tries to put them in the swing are inversely related.
- After the baby burps, everyone feels better.
- For some strange reason, bouncing up and down seems to have a miraculous calming affect on cranky babies. As such, one must take full advantage of this knowledge by (gently) bouncing the baby as frequently as possible.*
- When the babies are napping, one may use the ice maker on the front of the fridge only if one wants nap time to end; otherwise, water with no ice will work.
- When on the baby, the difference between a good diaper and a bad diaper is the difference between cush and mush.
- Beware of this chain of events: 1) you go to change the baby’s diaper, 2) you open the baby’s diaper, 3) the open diaper contains only a moderate amount of fecal matter, 4) the baby begins to smile. If these things happen, close the diaper as quickly as possible – more is probably on the way out.
- When it is safe to open said diaper, one must make sure to get a good hold onto the babies ankles, otherwise they will move those little feet right into said mess.
So, parents, nanny’s, are there any other lessons you would include?
*Note, this procedure does have side effects. One may find oneself bouncing their Bible, school books, or phone up and down as well. This is unnecessary and it generally causes one to look foolish. If a person were to catch themself doing this, they are to 1) stop bouncing both the children they watch and whatever other possession they find themself bouncing and 2) they are to immideately consult their physician as this could be an indication that they have a serious medical condition.